Aussie Idiots of 2008

**Kinga** Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:44 pm

Number One Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the Poison control centre..

Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away..

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride..

Number Two Idiot of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.

They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them..

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing..

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run..

Number Three Idiot of 2008.

A man, wanting to rob a downtown NAB [National Australia Bank], walked into the Branch and wrote this. 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police.

Before he reached the teller's window.. he left the Bank and crossed the street to the Bank of Queensland. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller.

She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light on the tree, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a NAB deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Bank of Queensland deposit slip or go
back to NAB.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left..

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the NAB.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Number Four Idiot of 2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail a ticket for $140 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $140.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.. He immediately mailed in his $140.

Wise guy........ But you still get a sign.

Number Five Idiot of 2008.

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf..

He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 18.'

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him..

At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 18 and she put the Scotch in the bag.. The robber then ran from the store with his loot..

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

Idiot Number Six of 2008.

A pair of robbers entered a music shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

Idiot Number Seven of 2008

Perth Western Australia. Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run..

So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.

The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass..

The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here's your sign..

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area.

We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Cattle Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many Cattle are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore'

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.. He was a Chef ??

Yep...From Surfers Paradise Queensland !!!

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge??
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know??'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened in Melbourne, Victoria.

IDIOT SIGHTING

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving??!'

She was a probation officer in Adelaide South Australia.

IDIOT SIGHTING

At a send-off luncheon for an old and dear co-worker. She was leaving the company due to' down sizing.'

Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'

Not another word was spoken.. We all just looked at each other in amazement..

IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an car dealership to pick up our car,
we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'

His reply, 'I know - I already got that side.'

This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo New South Wales.