More Bumper Stickers

**Kinga** Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:38 am

MORE BUMPER STICKERS!

*If you're not a haemorrhoid, get off my ass.

*If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better.

*Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.

*Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

*I brake for no apparent reason.

*Forget about world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

*No radio - already stolen.

*Caution! I drive like you do.

*Student Driver Get the hell out of my way!

*OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

*Your kid may be an honours student, but you're still an idiot.

*I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

*So many stupid people...so few comets.

*We have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart?

*He who laughs last thinks slowest.

*Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths.

*It IS as bad as you think, they ARE out to get you.

*Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

*Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

*Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

*Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.

*Born free. Taxed to death.

*The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

*Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

*I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

*Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.

*Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

*Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

*Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

*I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

*Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

*If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

*When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

*Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.

*I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

*Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

*Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it.

*I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

*IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

*Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its students.

*It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

*According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

*Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.

*Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

*A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

*Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

*How can I miss you if you won't go away?

*I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

*Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

*We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

*Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

*Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

*Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

*Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

*Don't squat with your spurs on.